I am writing this from a play cafe, one of the few places, maybe the only place that I can find time to write without it being 630 am after yoga (exhausted) or after the kids go to sleep (also exhausted). The kids can run around and safely play and I have a moment to write.
I’ve noticed that I have found myself worrying about things here that don’t have the same limits as they do in Italy (or Switzerland…). I’ve worried constantly that my kids shouldn’t be doing something (like playing on something or joking around in a restaurant) to find that its okay, no one cares or maybe even the restaurant staff says “Don’t worry, they are making me happy”. Or in the supermarket when they are laughing in the cart people stop me to say how nice it is to see such happiness.
Somewhere I’ve developed this “don’t do that! Stop!” Attitude towards my kids and it’s hard to let go. I’ve built up a fear, an anxiety that my kids are misbehaving but maybe they are just really being the little tiny kids that they are? Obviously there are rules for their safety and other but they don’t need such strictness and constant saying of “don’t do this, don’t do that”.
I don’t know what I want in my life, I love the opportunities available for families in the US, all the things kids can do but I don’t like the “keeping up with the Jones’s” mentality or the constant fast pace people seem to be in.
But then back to Italy, there can be for kids too, children stay up way too late and seem to be in a constant state of sleep deprivation. I don’t have many friends there because I have very little in common with women there, but I at this stage in my life… I’d rather just hang out with my kids or by myself.
Where are you happy? Are you an introvert extrovert?
My happiness in her happy place: